I


I

I have been stuck for a VERY long time. I have been stuck in perception. I have been stuck in belief. I have been stuck in addiction. I have been stuck in my heritage. I have been stuck in my family. I have been stuck in mystery. I have been stuck in unknowing. I have been stuck in history and I have been stuck in myself.

I have been on this journey since I was born. Every experience; every person; every thought has gotten me to the point where I am right now, in this moment. Right now, I am not stuck. I am experiencing. I am practicing. I am growing. I am changing. I am finding my own personal enlightenment. I am defining my own beliefs and not relying on a holy text or the dogmas of man. I am feeling. I am thought.

I no longer need approval from anyone. I no longer define myself by what others believe. I believe in many things. I believe in every truth. I believe in spirits, gods, and fairies. I believe in angels. I believe in demons. I believe in history. I believe in space. I believe in science. I believe that these things do not contradict. I believe in myths. I believe in aliens. I believe in magic. I believe in healers, psychics, and saints. I believe in shamans. I believe in good. I believe in love. I believe in my third eye. I believe in divination. I believe in my soul. I believe in yours. I believe in evil. I believe in tricksters. I believe in monsters. I believe that in everything and everyone there is a purpose. I believe we are divine.

I am not striving for perfection. I am striving for progress. I am not afraid to laugh at myself. I am not afraid to laugh at you. I am not afraid to laugh through my tears, or have my laughter interrupted by them. I am afraid of emptiness. I am afraid of contempt. I am afraid of indifference. I am not afraid to connect. I am not afraid to explore. I am not afraid to dream.

I love walking among people and I love avoiding them. I love learning about you. I love learning about me. I love learning. I love animals. I love rocks. I love mountains, trees, and vistas. I love stars. I love the universe. I love being outside. I love reading. I love rivers, lakes, and streams. I love waterfalls and oceans.  I love pictures. I love my friends. I love my enemies. I love my values. I love my morality. I love my fears. I love my family. I love yoga. I love therapy. I love words. I love writing. I love thinking. I love dreaming. I love touch. I love solitude. I love learning. I love sharing. I love my honesty. I love my love.

We spend so much time trying to figure out who we are and what we are supposed to do and what we are supposed to become that I fear we miss the journey. I have always been full of angst about what I was. Who I should be. What I should believe in. Who I should be with. What people think of my choices and actions. I have embarrassed myself. I have failed. I have quit. I have been hateful. I depend on sarcasm for defense. I have been afraid. I have been a bully. I have been bullied. I have been depressed and crazy. I have been sane and happy.

I am appreciating the trials. I am cleansing through my tears. I am awakening. I am power. I am fulfillment.  I am dreaming. I am acting. I am learning to trust my instincts. I am listening to my intuition. I am paying attention. I am learning. I am changing. I am happy. I am sad. I am joy. I am peace. I am patient. I am compassionate. I am kind. I am impatient, intolerant, and mean too. I am flexible. I am open. I am writing. I am exploring.

I am everything and I am nothing. This is my truth.

What is yours?

Namaste

 

5 thoughts on “I”

  1. How did I miss your new blog? I must have been daydreaming, Kathryn. Thanks for posting at Tolerant People and waking me up. You have quite a few “loves” listed, which makes me smile. Better to love everything in your life than to hate. As far as my truth? How about always busy, but loving life!

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